didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
