I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
