Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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