you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
