so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize