My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
People in love make me want to vomit
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
