cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
