lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
