Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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