Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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