I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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