she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I will be naked everywhere
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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