Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
