I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
