They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
