i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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