I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
