u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
