So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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