Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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