i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
