There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
