You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just pee around me
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
