if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
time to smoke my breakfast
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
