He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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