Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
