Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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