Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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