Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The power of my boobs compel you
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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