I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
