$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
