I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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