i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Come see our sink grown plant.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
