the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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