I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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