Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
