a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
