Can Purell be used as lube?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Less talking, more tequila
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
