You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
