you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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