You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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