He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
