WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
