Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
And then he peed in my hair
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