Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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