Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
