Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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