so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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