$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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