i would punch a child for taco bell
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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