is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
