i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
