Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
