How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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