I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize