Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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