who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
