wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
