she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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