I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
