I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
