He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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