Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
