It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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