Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize