apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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