Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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